We’ve recently changed schools, and while the former school did assign homework, it was not in the same quantities of this new school. We’d maybe get a worksheet here or there that reviewed what my 9-year-old was working on in class and he sort of knew how to do it, or at least what tactics to use to figure it out.

Homework Challenges
But now, starting a new program, he gets hard homework covering every subject! That means high frustration and super-duper struggles as he fights to catch-up to the rest of the class.

One big challenge comes not only when he attempts a novel skill but also if I tell him he needs to “look at it again”. This little Super Hero is a perfectionist, and those four words can trigger a meltdown. In order to get through the piles of practice, I’ve had to pull from ALL my training, formal and informal, life lessons and observations.

Solutions to H-o-m-e-w-o-r-k Challenges
Happy: Starting out on the right foot is key. I let Jake sharpen the pencils he wants to use. He usually picks a few different ones with pictures on them and where he wants to sit at the table. So we start out happy.

Outline: Then I outline all we have to do so he has an idea of how big that mountain is to climb.

Manage your time: We do work first then bike ride or scooter. If he’s working for a huge reward, you must deliver. No matter what. Don’t start doing work 15 minutes before supper time or bed time and run out of time for the treat! That will make it even harder to sit down next time and he won’t believe you when you promise another reward. {I tried setting an end time really far away, but since he is a clock watcher, I ended up taping paper over the microwave and stove numbers which then breeds anxiety. A small timer on the table is my next option. “Work for 10, break for 3.”}

Empower: I usually choose two pieces of work and hold them up. “Do you want math first or reading first?” When he has the choice, he feels like he has some input, aka: presumed control.

Work: Time spent on actual problems should be short.

Offer: If I start seeing signs of frustration early on, I offer help right away. “If you need help, you can ask me.”

Reinforce: Reward even the smallest of success. In the beginning, Jake would get reward (edible or primary or nickels) for each problem. Fade the very frequent rewards as you would fade prompts.

Know your kid: Jake cannot handle sitting to work for more than 15 minutes, so I pace everything out. Even if he seems to be going at a good clip, I alternate homework with favored tasks. We may do three math problems, then a quick pattern game, puzzle, coloring or matching and back to the next few problems. This isn’t about keeping him working as much as it’s about building confidence and excitement for work.

Take One Day at a Time
I have to constantly remind myself to stay calm, stay positive and keep perspective. Last year he had no idea multiplication and division even existed.

I would like to offer the following recommendations when choosing a therapy home for your child:

1.  Choose a licensed occupational therapist:  It may be tempting to try to address your child’s needs through a class, like gymnastics, Tae Kwon Do or swimming. These classes can sometimes be a wonderful adjunct to therapy or used as part of a sensory diet when transitioning out of therapy. Or to choose a franchised ‘learning or treatment’ center offering to improve brain function through a series of exercises and activities. These programs typically use instructors with no background in neurophysiology or sensory processing who have been taught a rote program to implement. Neither of these options offers the specific, individualized focus needed to successfully address sensory processing disorders.
2.  Find a therapist who is a pediatric specialist:  You want a therapist that has post-graduation practice and training in pediatrics. I often have parents call with a list of approved therapists from their insurance company, and as they read me the list, I frequently have to tell them that all of the options provided are geared to adults. Taking your child with a sensory processing disorder to a rehab clinic focused on adults is a waste of time and money.
3. Look for a therapist that has Sensory Integration/Sensory Modulation training and mentorship:  Most therapists receive very little training in SI/SPD during their undergraduate or graduate course work. Look for a therapist who has been or continues to be in a mentored environment with an experienced therapist. You want a therapist who stays current, participating in a variety of relevant continuing education courses. SIPT/Sensory Integration certification is a plus (although there are wonderful therapists without this and some not so good ones that have it).
4. Chose Clinic Based Services: Sensory processing/integration intervention requires the use of a variety of equipment that offers vestibular, proprioceptive and tactile input and can be adapted in a hundred different ways to meet a child’s needs at that particular moment. It is very difficult to provide effective sensory processing therapy in the home (unless the family has set up a therapy gym).
5. Visit the clinic: Set up an appointment to visit the clinic. Does it feel friendly and inviting? Is it well organized offering a variety of spaces, both stimulating and calming? Does it offer multiple points of suspension and have a variety of suspended equipment available? Are there lots of mats and crash pillows? Are you able to observe therapy if you are not in the room with your child?
6. Parent education:  Is parent education an important part of the therapy program? This often includes a parent interpretive conference about a week after the initial testing, specific feedback at the end of each session, and establishment and monitoring of a home program.
7. School support:  If your child is in school or day care and their issues are having any impact on school, make sure that communication with the classroom teacher is a component of your child’s therapy program. A school observation can be very valuable in allowing your child’s therapist to understand the classroom environment and expectations. He or she can then work with the teacher to develop realistic and effective classroom recommendations.
8. Don’t base decision solely on cost: While it can be tempting to go with the program that is the least expensive, don’t make that your sole criteria. Doing fewer sessions with a skilled therapist may be a better use of your time and money then less costly sessions with a therapist who is ill equipped to effectively meet your child’s sensory needs.

Choosing the right therapist for your child is a big decision. Take a little extra time to explore available options so that your choice results in effective intervention in a supportive environment.

Every elementary and middle school library should have this book on their shelves. Autism is so prevalent in the world today, that each student will at some point in their lives probably meet an individual with Autism, and it will help them if they are well educated on the topic.

• In His Shoes would be a great book to teach older elementary and middle school-aged students about Autism.
• In addition, it will allow them to understand their Autistic peers better.
• This book would be perfect for teachers to use as a read aloud book for all classrooms, even if there is not a student with Autism in that specific class.

The Main Character
The main character in this book, Nick, is 13 years old and in the seventh grade. He has Autism and is mostly non-verbal. He uses a picture exchange communication book to communicate. Nick has many sensory challenges. One example of a sensory challenge that he faces is that he cannot stand the way red apple peel looks on his plate, therefore he likes his apples to be peeled and cut into pieces, or he likes to eat green apples.

Kris, his babysitter was staying with him, and she made him breakfast, but she did not know that he did not like red apple peel on his apples, so she served him the apples with the red peel on his breakfast plate. The red color of the peel on his plate was so offensive to him, that he could not eat his breakfast. He also has communication challenges, and even though he knew what was wrong with his breakfast and why he was not eating it, he was not able to communicate this with Kris. He got so frustrated that he pushed his breakfast plate on the floor. He was not trying to be naughty, he was simply just trying to communicate that he could not eat his breakfast because of the red apple peel on his plate. He had the words he just could not get them to go out his mouth.

As an individual with ASD, I experience this sometimes too, I have something I want to tell someone, but I am not always able to get the words out and say it. It can be very frustrating at times. The above situation shows how sometimes behavior can be communication for many individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Challenges for those with Autism
Nick is a very literal thinker, he has a hard time understanding idioms, like when a classmate told him that he was all that and a bag of chips. He could not understand what that meant or why someone would say that if they did not have a bag of chips. Understanding idioms is something that is often hard for many individuals on the Autism Spectrum.

This book also does a great job of illustrating inclusion. Nick participates in summer activities at his local community center with his typical peers. Nick attends a public school, but is taught in a special self-contained class for individuals with Autism, but he also participates in elective classes with his typical peers. PAL students or peer assisted learners come into his classroom to play games and do activities with them two days a week. Nick is also a great runner, he can run with great speed, and is included on his middle school track team.

Strengths for those with Autism
In addition to illustrating many of the challenges that individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders face, this book does a great job of also illustrating some of the strengths that Nick has. Nick is really good with numbers, and likes to see numbers get bigger inside his head. Nick was also very good at opening his lock in gym class, he opened his lock so quickly that all of the other students in the locker room were amazed. His peers were asking him for help to open their locks too!

Summary
For the most part Nick was accepted by his peers, but there were some students who bullied him and were not very nice to him. Sometimes people talked to him as if he wasn’t even there. This really hurts, and it is important for kids to know this, as maybe they will think about this next time they think about saying something that is not nice or making fun of someone who is different.

Bullying is not tolerated in this book. And this is how it should be! When a new student came to his school and had questions about Nick and his behaviors, one of the other students stood up for Nick, and explained that he had Autism. I wish that this would of been done for me when I attended school, as it would have really helped. Sometimes kids make fun of people because they do not understand them. This is not okay, but this is why we need to make an effort to teach children about differences such as Autism.

The ADHD we can’t do much about. He is inattentive, over-reactive, impulsive, and immature. He can’t ignore the things going on around him or keep his mouth shut when he perceives someone is doing something he or she shouldn’t. And that’s with the help of 50mgs of Vyvanse every morning. It is what it is.

Bus Trouble
The bus trouble is a different story.

For five long, arduous years, I’ve battled a bus driver who sees Javi as a nuisance. Everything is his fault. Javi’ll get demerits for responding to someone else’s bad behavior or for speaking out when someone’s behaving badly. Whether the driver does it on purpose or not, my kiddo feels scapegoated. Nothing he does is good enough.

But then there was a light at the end of the tunnel. The big bad bus driver broke her leg and had to be in a full-leg cast. Even more thankfully, it meant she couldn’t drive the bus.

Solutions To the Trouble
Enter our savior — a new driver who has experience working with impulsive children. Under her well-trained supervision, my boy’s entire world view has shifted.

Despite being temporary, the new driver has implemented some neat little tricks to reign in wild mannerisms and busybody tendencies. By the end of the first week, she had him staying in his seat, keeping his mouth shut, and strutting his stuff.

Now it’s our turn to help other bus-traumatized kids uncover their inner superstar. Ask your bus driver to try these three easy techniques for a better bus ride:

1.  Give the child a job.

On the bus, Javi was tasked with being the “Getting Out Of Your Seat” Monitor. The driver gave him a little notepad and asked him to write down the names of any child who stood up or put his/her feet and legs in the aisle. According to the driver, Javi would fill pages and pages each week. At the end of the week, he’d turn in his list and walk away with a smug little smile. And the minute he turned the corner, the driver would toss his hard work right in the trash.

Why it worked: If you want my child to act like a confident and mature young adult, you need to put him in charge of something. The goal wasn’t for him to actually catch and report infractions. The goal was to make him feel important and to give him a way to channel his frenetic energy. Best of all, no other child got in trouble.

2.  Outline the rules.

Javi has a lot to remember. There are rules for home, for the classroom, for football, for 4H. and so on. He does a pretty good job of remembering what’s acceptable in each situation. Except on the bus. What the new driver realized is that Javi couldn’t pick up on the rules because they were never stated — meaning he had to infer what was okay and what wasn’t.

Problem: The rules were different for Javi than for other kids. He saw his bus mates getting away with behaviors that the old driver didn’t tolerate from him. To correct this problem, the new driver printed out a list of dos and don’ts for each child.

Why it worked: The rules were clear and concise. The new driver didn’t use long complicated sentences and she tried to use an example for each rule. When a child breaks a rule, the driver was careful to remind him which rule he broke and give him some options for better following that rule in the future.

3.  Play to the child’s ego.

Javi, like every kid on the planet, loves to hear he’s the best at something. While the old driver couldn’t come up with a single nice thing to say to him in five years of being his driver, the new driver gushed over him. She took notice when his name was announced over the speakers at school for one achievement or the other. She pointed out how well he was following the rules. In short, she highlighted what he did well — each and every time she had the opportunity to.

Why it worked: Hearing that positive praise made my kid want to keep doing good things. He felt special and smart and loved. That feeling is addictive and he wanted more of it. Every morning he got off the bus feeling pumped up for a great day. Every afternoon he got off the bus feeling like he was someone amazing.

That’s how kids — all kids — are supposed to feel. Even little 11-year-old boys with ADHD and bus troubles.

Do you have a bus horror story? Have you found a way to make riding the bus easier on your kiddo? Share your tips and strategies in the comments!

Some children learn best by seeing and doing things. We often refer to these children as “visual learners”.

The schools of yesterday weren’t well positioned to educate visual learners, often funneling them into art, woodwork and cooking classes which prepared them for trades careers while ignoring academic development.  Modern schools have improved on this considerably but still lack the time and facilities to bring a truly visual approach to academic subjects.  As parents however, we have now some excellent opportunities to help our special needs children reach their potential at home.

Here’s a few tips to get you thinking:

• Computers can do lots of things.

Reach beyond the traditional ideas of a computer as a business tool, games machine and research tool and start using it for visual education. Search YouTube for re-enactments of famous speeches, archival footage of events, science experiments and mathematics explanations. Use PowerPoint to make electronic flashcards and use Google translate for foreign languages – did you know that it not only gives written translations, it “speaks” them too.

• TV is your friend.

Yes, we know that too much TV is bad for you but visual learners will pick up much more via the pervasive power to TV than they will in books.

Expose your children to documentaries which complement their school syllabus and movies which match their reading materials. Branch out and find movies with less obvious links. For example, ask your history students to make a list of clothing worn and food consumed by various members of social classes in Braveheart. A few prompts will go a long way towards putting the focus where it belongs.

• Real Life is a Great Classroom

Real life situations can teach a visual child much more effectively than a classroom.  Take your child shopping with you and ask them to find the cheapest items or the best value by weight. Give them money to buy things and ask them how much change they should expect.  Take a drive and measure your car’s fuel economy.  All of these things can help to bring mathematics to life.

Museums, art galleries and monuments can bring stories to life.  Visit them to talk about animal camouflage, dinosaurs and history.  After all, looking at artifacts can often tell you a lot more about a culture than a book.  Many museums today offer practical sessions on paleontology and other skills. They may be for younger kids but take your special needs children to them, they’ll learn a great deal.

• Home experimentation and demonstration is a good way to teach Science

Science isn’t just a textbook subject and many of the abstract concepts of science, such as planetary movement, eclipses and phases of the moon can be easily demonstrated with a torch and several pieces of fruit. Chemical concepts can be demonstrated with simple home experiments, as can electronics, magnetism and mechanics.

Experiments can make dull academic subjects seem real to your child and can be applied to many other disciplines such as mathematics.  Try taking your child to the local park and measuring the distance between points using only footsteps. If lines are marked, such as on a football field, you’ll find it very easy to demonstrate Pythagoras’ theorem.

If your child is a visual learner, don’t assume that they will need to learn a trade because academic topics are too difficult for them.  Adapt to their learning style. The results may surprise you.

What To Do
Well first talk to your Dr. to see if you can have your child take any sort of allergy relief pill.  Other things you can try for your child are acupuncture or acupressure points from an experienced clinician,  breathing techniques and yoga (maybe indoors if his allergies are really bad), homeopathic allergic rhinitis (look it up on the internet, it might work for you) and more.  You can also try to stay away from freshly cut lawns, keep your house clean of mold and dust mites, and avoiding damp leaves which can harbor mold.  Another tip (if the allergies are bad enough) is using the air conditioner in your home and car to keep the air cleaner inside and less pollen and mold can be brought in from the outside air.

The whole “Spring Cleaning” is truly beneficial to purge out your old stuff and sweep away those cobwebs that might be hiding in the corners.

Statistics

• According to Dr. Manny Alvarez, chairman of the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Science at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey, seasonal allergies affect approximately 40 percent of children in the US.

When to Suspect Asthma
Although allergies and asthma often go together, they are actually two different conditions. Asthma is a chronic condition that starts in the lungs. Allergies are reactions that start in the immune system. Not everybody with allergies has asthma, but most people with asthma have allergies.

The airways of the typical child with asthma are inflamed or swollen, which makes them oversensitive. When something triggers the system, if can cause an asthma attack.  This means the airway/bronchial tubes are getting smaller and makes it harder for the person to breathe.

Are you Allergic to the Sun?
Crazy right, we all know we should put sunscreen on when we go outside especially on our little ones.  It is healthy to get about 15-20 minutes a day of Vitamin D but still wear sunscreen.  There are some people who are allergic to the sun.  It is called photodermatosis.  People with photodermatosis develop skin rashes following exposure to the sun.  Some people can also have reactions to sunscreen so make sure you are choosing a hypoallergenic sunscreen for your child’s sensitive skin.

Now we haven’t even begun to talk about HOW you are going to get that sunscreen on your tactile defensive child! Yikes!  Well sometimes a spray sunscreen can help, sometimes brushing them before applying the cream can help, sing to them, distract them, make it ALWAYS a rule if they want to swim, or play outside so they know it’s part of the routine and they just have to tolerate it.  Trust me, your child squirming or screaming for a few minutes is way better than Skin Cancer!

If you are concerned about your allergies, or your child’s talk to your pediatrician.  They may refer you to an allergy specialist to get tested for specific allergies.  This is not always a fun process for the child because it typically involves taking blood, or pricking the skin to test and see what they are allergic to, but you might want to know and get it over with so you can best treat the symptoms.  You may find out that your child is allergic to Down and you have them sleeping under a Down comforter all winter.  Make sure you do what is best for your child and Welcome to Spring.

I realize that children with anxiety do have to function in society just like everyone else, and that they do need to be challenged. We challenge Sydney every day to step out of her comfort zone, however the key is to do it slowly and at a pace where she won’t crumble. But, sometimes we feel like we were moving backwards instead of forwards.

The Challenges of Gym Class
My daughter’s challenges in gym class are numerous which is why we have an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) in place and up until this point we were all content with her progress. The triggers for her are HUGE and her lack of participation during the forty minute period bears no weight on her ability or desire to participate; for her the gym is terrifying.

What started out as a poorly thought out comment by a new gym teacher quickly transpired into a complete shut down and full-out school refusal. Now her comfort level was compromised, her coping skills were maxed out, there were too many balls flying in the air so from a sensory perspective she was completely overloaded and she just broke down.

Signs of Regression
Within the course of a week we started to see regression (verbalizing school refusal, crying, disrupted sleep, inability to cope with every day experiences, changes in classroom behaviour  and body language) like we had back at the beginning of Grade 1. Her confidence, her independence, her coping skills and social skills have all skyrocketed but sometimes we hit a snag. Something HAD to change. At the time I thought to myself, “They just don’t get it. So how do I help them to understand?”

What Advocacy Looks Like to Me

• Clearly thinking through my choice. Making sure I have figured out the best solution that I whole heartedly feel is right for my child. It never pays to speak in haste.
• Giving them as many facts as I can to further enable them to really get my point. Instead of just saying, “She has a hard time in the gym and I don’t think she should be there” I said, “She is overloaded from a sensory perspective. There are too many things going on in the gym that make her whole defence mechanism scream at her that she’s in danger.  She needs help.”
•  Appreciate that they are truly doing the best that they can.  Some situations just have them scratching their heads in disarray. We all need to learn from each other so telling my “team” in this case that I am very thankful that the matter was dealt with so quickly and that we didn’t leave it until it got dire I think made everyone feel like working harder for a resolution.
• Advocate on our daughters behalf (rather than ours). We have so many people who are involved in every decision it really is a good idea to have one person who is able to be the mediator for these changes. In our case it is her teacher.
• Open communication. I firmly believe that in order for there to be success there must be an open line of communication on everyone’s part. The more open we are the better we can change the outcome to become a much more positive one.

In the End
My daughter was given a card on a key ring with some affirmations on it that she brings to class with her. It can sit on the bench or on her body but either way it is there for her.

She was given a timer and she set it for 10 minutes. When the time is up she can either go up to the resource room to spend some time with a Special Education Resource Teacher and they will do some activities based on what’s going on in class or stay in the gym and participate.

She is learning how to deal with those challenging times. In one class with this new plan she participated more than she ever had. Those “visible cues” are gone.  I know she has it in her and when I see her reaching for those stars I know that the ladder we are building will never run out of steps.

What does advocacy look like for you?

The Big Announcement!
After careful consideration and weighing in lots of factors, I will be attending the University of Florida (UF)–go Gators! I know a lot of you who are involved with autism and special needs may be confused by my decision. This process has honestly taken me every which way. I began wanting to go to a small school a little bit closer to home. I had my reasons – I want to keep writing, I want to keep creating, and I don’t know if I want to go away from home. But as I’ve mentioned, this process takes you a million different directions.

Deciding Factors
So instead of telling you why I originally wanted to go somewhere, today I’m going to tell you what factors swayed me on choosing the large University of Florida, and which things from my experience so far are myths.

1. My first visit to UF made me fall in love. To be honest, the car ride for four hours to get there felt kinda long, but after that, everything was perfect during my visit. And for that, and something I’ve advised anyone I could during the process, is the importance of a visit. You will know almost right away if you could see yourself on that campus, and if you could see yourself being overwhelmed or not. UF is a large school with tens of thousands of students and spans something like 2 miles. As scary as this sounds, I felt that I would be able to walk the entire campus without a problem, and I didn’t see nearly as many students as I expected to, probably because it is all spread out. Another thing with when you visit is go during a weekday, when you will most likely see students on campus, and make sure the week you choose isn’t a spring break, or during the month-long winter breaks. You probably won’t see anyone then!
2. Make sure the campus has a pulse. This was important to me since certain schools I visited had a pulse, and others did not. By a pulse, I mean that you see people walking around, people talking, spirit, etc. You want to feel like a part of something bigger. UF definitely had a large pulse. Pretty much everyone was wearing a UF related or Gators shirt, and anyone I asked randomly told me how much they loved UF. The pride was overflowing and you definitely felt like you were a part of that.
3.  The food issue actually won’t be an issue, since all throughout campus, there are fast food chain restaurants (yay!). There are seven Starbucks, two Burger Kings, Chick-fil-A, Papa John’s, several Subway’s, etc. I can ALWAYS get something to eat even if the dining hall food is disgusting.
4. I can still go home. Even though Gainesville and UF are four hours away by car from where I live at home, I’m not too worried. Every weekend there is the option to go home. I do not plan on bringing a car, but there is a bus that runs weekly from Gainesville to home then back a few days later.
5. I can keep my commitments. Being able to go home and knowing there are lots to get involved with helps me know that I can continue to work with the organizations I work with back home, and I can work with new ones in Gainesville, too. There are lots of opportunities and I don’t have to leave anything behind! It’s a win-win, from what I can tell.

These are just a few of my reasons so far. I’ll be able to report more as I get closer and get on campus. I have my preview for the fall semester where I register for classes in June, and I will be moving up sometime in August. But don’t worry, I’m still able to keep everything I’m doing and I will still write and do whatever I can!

See you next month!

Imagine This Morning Routine
Mom has been up for half an hour, desperately trying to suck down enough coffee so she can face day. Dad is rushing around, trying to get out of the house for an early meeting. Big Brother sleeps. Little Brother, 9, stumbles into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Mom says.

“COOK ME EGGS!” Little Brother commands.

“Can you ask nicely?”

“PLEASE COOK ME EGGS!”

“There’s only one egg,” Mom says. “I can cook you that egg and some cheese grits.”

“I WANT YOGURT!”

“Okay.”

“I DON’T WANT YOGURT! I WANT EGGS! AND PUT CHEESE IN THEM.”

“You need to say that nicely.” Mom feels the beginning of a tension headache coming on. It’s a combination of jaw pain from gritting her teeth and muscle strain behind her right eye. She breathes deep. If she can just stay calm and detached she can get through the morning without a full-blown migraine.

“I HATE YOGURT! I WANT EGGS!”

“We only have one egg. I can make you that egg and cheese grits.”

“I WANT YOGURT.”

“Okay.”

“I WANT EGGS.”

“Look, here are your choices. An egg and grits, or yogurt.” Mom knows that her son needs limited choices. Firm boundaries. And food, fast. The morning rigmarole is a combination of low blood sugar, a lag while his morning medication kicks in, and a response to the sensory overload of simply waking up, which all adds up to terrible, dysfunctional pattern that their family has found themselves in over the past several years.

“AN EGG AND GRITS.”

Mom gets out the egg carton and puts water on to boil for the grits. Little Brother doesn’t say anything. He drinks a glass of milk.

The timer goes off on the stove. “Your grits are done.”

“I DON’T WANT STUPID GRITS. GRITS SUCK AND YOU’RE FAT. FATTY FATTY FAT A@#.  I WANT YOGURT!”

Mom takes some breaths. Ignore, ignore, she tells herself

“I’M NOT EATING THIS.” He throws the spoon.

Mom finally loses it: “You can’t treat me this way!”

Little Brother smirks. He knows he has won. Mom rushes out of the room, throws herself face-down on the bed, heart pounding. The morning has conquered her once again.

Something Clearly had to Give
Up until two months ago, that was how we started the day in my house. Every day for at least three years. Sometimes without me losing it, but more often than not it’d be 7:30 a.m. and I’d have been already defeated. It seemed impossible to do everything that needed doing in that 30-minute window of time: to teach him how to talk nicely to me; to not give in to his constant, changing demands; and to stay calm, for if I reacted it only fed his drive to make me upset. Some of what was going on was slow-acting medication, low blood sugar and impulsivity, but a lot of what was going on was his need to control the situation by controlling me. For a child who lives in a chaotic world caused by brain damage through fetal alcohol exposure, controlling what he can control is an impulse that can’t be denied. And for a child with attachment issues due to months of neglect during crucial early babyhood, getting me upset meant that I clearly felt something towards him – even if it was negative.

I really saw no end to the pattern. Until…one morning, lying face-down on my bed, feeling like a complete failure, out of complete desperation I came up with a solution.

Little Brother couldn’t keep himself from bossing me around in the morning, and it wasn’t getting any better despite years of trying to manage him in the only way I knew how: telling him to stop. Getting him to rephrase. Not reacting when he spoke to me rudely. Putting myself in time-out.

Clearly, he wasn’t going to change.

Change the Environment
So if he wasn’t going to change, I needed to change the situation. Diane Malbin, in Trying Differently Rather Than Harder: Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, the most important book about parenting children with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) that a person could read, breaks it down: if you’re caring for a child with FASD, you can’t change him or her. Instead, you have to change their environment so that he or she can be successful.

Unchangeable
I couldn’t change the need for breakfast in the morning, nor my own presence nor how long it took the medication to enter his system, nor could I change when he took the medication due to the timing of the dosage later in the day.

Changeable
But what I could change was whether or not he got a choice in what he was eating. If he didn’t have a choice (eggs vs. yogurt vs. cheese toast or whatever was on the menu that morning) then I didn’t have to honor the choice, nicely stated or not. I didn’t have to engage at all.

So that’s what I did. Cheese grits casserole, a high fat, high protein, high carbohydrate dish that can be prepared ahead of time, became the only choice on the breakfast menu. It is something Little Brother likes , it is filling, and I can dish it out and warm it up in one minute in the microwave.

New Morning Routine
Things literally changed overnight. Now, the morning goes like this:

“I WANT EGGS!”

“Nope, cheese grits casserole.”

“I HATE CHEESE GRITS CASSEROLE!”

“That’s too bad, because that’s what’s for breakfast.”

“DON’T MAKE IT TOO HOT. CAN I HAVE SALT? GET ME MILK!”

“Get it yourself.”

“I HATE YOU!”

“Oh well.”

And that’s it. I put the casserole in front of him and take a shower. And by the time I’m done he’s eaten every single bite.

Whether you celebrate Easter or not, you have undoubtedly run across marked down plastic eggs this month.  My suggestion?  Scoop them up and put on your Sensory Savvy Lenses.  Take up the challenge to view these every day objects from a vantage point of sensory needs.

Today’s Challenge:  Plastic Eggs

Original Purpose:  hiding Easter treats

With Sensory Savvy Lenses:  a tool for:

• auditory input
• fine motor work
• gustatory input
• motor planning
• olfactory input
• proprioceptive input
• tactile input
• vestibular input
• visual perceptual input

3-D Décor
Wikki Stixprovide tons of therapeutic fun.  So, why not use these simple, yet effective tactile and fine motor tools for some post-holiday crafting?  Offer children plastic eggs, scissors, Wikki Stix and other small craft items and challenge them to create 3-dimensional egg décor.  Better still, make a zoo of animal-like creatures using the eggs as heads or bodies.

Food Study Fun
When introducing new foods, make a game of it.  Place small, single portions of several target foods and several favored foods in different plastic eggs.  Then, on a spinner or dice, sketch cues for “taste it”, “smell it”, “kiss it”, “touch it”, “hold it in your mouth”, “look at it”.  Have your child take an egg, roll or spin a command, open the egg and attempt to fulfill the instruction. The novelty of opening the eggs, paired with the possibility of getting a favored food inside of one, may just help move your feeding efforts along.

Exercise Egg Hunt
Capitalize on the enthusiasm of past Easter hunts by setting up an Exercise Egg Hunt.  To prepare for it, simply slip text or images into plastic eggs that indicate different exercises, such as jumping jacks, spins, toe touching, etc.  Make sure to include a good variety of activities that key into vestibular and proprioceptive input.  Hide the eggs, and, then, in a given amount of time, have children locate them.  When time is up, challenge children to “crack” their eggs open and create an exercise routine using all the different exercises indicated within their eggs.  Once they complete their routines, reward them with a treat.

Scent Sleuth
Many plastic eggs have little holes in them.  Use these to create a Scent Sleuth game.  To prepare, place cinnamon sticks in two different eggs, cotton balls soaked in lemon juice in two others, ones soaked in vanilla in two others, etc. until you have enough eggs for an entire carton of pairs.  Offer your child an egg from one side of the carton and have them sniff the eggs on the other side to try to find the matching eggs.  For vestibular and proprioceptive input, hide one set of eggs and have your child hunt for each match.

Sound Sleuth
Similar to the idea above, create a Sound Sleuth game.  To do so, instead of placing scented objects in the eggs, use ones that can create unique sounds when a child shakes an egg.  A dried bean, a small pair of dice, a penny, a small amount of sugar or salt, etc. all work well.  Seal the eggs with electric or duct tape and then have your child try to pair the eggs by sound.

Eggs-ellent Solutions
To add some fun and fine motor exercise into otherwise typical academic problems, use plastic eggs.  Put a question in one egg and its solution in another.  Mix these up with a whole set of problems and solutions and challenge your child to open the eggs to match them up.  This works well for simple math, words and definitions, subject-based trivia, etc.

and Notes

• To add further fine motor input to any of the last four activities above, have your child help you prepare the eggs.  Opening and closing the plastic eggs, as well as picking up the objects to put inside provides opportunities for fine motor exercise.
• Don’t forget classic Easter season games that can be done just as well with plastic eggs as real ones.  Egg on Spoon Relays, Egg Tosses, Egg Rolls, etc. all provide opportunities for motor planning, vestibular work, etc.
• Plastic eggs make an excellent addition to any sensory bin or water table.  Egg halves can be used for digging, filling, pouring, even floating.  Ones with holes in them can be used to dribble water out of.
• Honor your child’s creativity.  Some of the best games and activities come from children’s own imaginations.  Offer eggs and other materials in a shoe box and have your child invent a personal activity.

Whatever you do, key into what is challenging your child during this seasonal transition and try to come up with activities that provide opportunities for your child to “practice” the skill of dealing with the input.  Then, if you use eggs to do so, be sure to come back to share in a comment what you did so others can benefit from your ideas.